She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
