I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
