How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
