You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
