direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
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Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
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He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before