Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center