Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life