If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
