And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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