OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
