just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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