Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
