She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
