Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
