I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
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we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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