Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
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I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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