My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
