areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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