then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
