I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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