Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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