he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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