i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Are my feet made of real feet?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
