BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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