i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
