As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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