Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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