I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
