It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
