dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
