Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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