bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i love accidental penises.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
