my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
