You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
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She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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