Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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