This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
