I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
