Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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