I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
