dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
