my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
