can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
