So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
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I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize