she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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