listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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