Kiss
Puke
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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