Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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