So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
