but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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