mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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