So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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