i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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