Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
