we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
