Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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