is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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