can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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