I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
