just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
